by Kevin Gwin, LPC / in Uncategorized
Is getting married worth it? Why is my marriage so challenging? Are there ways to improve my relationship?
Many are aware that marriage rates have been on the decline for decades. According to the US Census Bureau, in 1949 78.8% of US households contained married couples. In 2022, that number is down to 46.8%. More statistics could be shared to point to the decrease in interest and satisfaction in marriage.
Have we given up on marriage?
Rather than dwell on what’s broken, I’d like to explore a more constructive question: What does it take to make marriage work?
Drawing from my experience as a professional counselor, former Christian pastor, and two decades of working with adults in various capacities, I continue to see many people actively pursuing marriage as a meaningful goal. Marriage isn’t for everyone, but for those who choose it, there is still great potential for fulfillment and growth.
MARRIAGE TAKES WORK.
Some are under the impression that as long as you feel love for another person, marriage will work just fine. This has been proven over and over again to not be the case. Healthy relationships take intentional effort.
The highly respected Gottman Institute, which has conducted over 40 years of research on what makes marriages work, tells us that 67% of newlyweds experience a decrease in happiness and an increase in hostility in their relationship. If this is true, then what is the solution?
Those who choose to be married also choose that they are going to invest effort into making it a healthy relationship. People invest their time and their money in what they value. Heavy investments are made into careers, travel, sports, entertainment, golf (personal confession), and many others things.
Are you willing to invest time and resources into making marriage work?
Where do we start? There are many roads that can be taken to improve your marriage.
Five Starting Points for Strengthening Your Marriage
There are countless paths to improving your relationship, but here are five practical first steps:
1. Practice Humility
Acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers. Openness to growth is foundational.
2. Seek Knowledge
Read books, listen to podcasts, or explore research on healthy relationships and communication.
3. Learn from Others
Observe couples who model strong relationships. Ask questions. Listen to their stories.
4. Seek Support
Professional couples counseling is an excellent, proactive way to grow your
relationship.
5. Stay Committed to the Work
Don’t give up just because it’s difficult. Growth often comes through challenges.
Marriage isn’t easy—but for many, it is still deeply worth it. Stay tuned for my next article, “10 Ways to Work on Your Marriage.”
Learn more about resources from the Gottman Institute at _www.gottman.com
About the Author: By Kevin Gwin, LPC
