Dr. Harris Summer 2019 Reads Suggestions
When in graduate school for a degree in psychology or counseling, one learns a lot and reads a ton. But the most important thing grad students in my field do is practice what they preach.
So, when I was in a masters program in grad school, I took a psychological assessment overview course and the final assignment was to take a whole handful of tests that assessed my personality and then score, interpret, and report the results of these tests.
It was quite a process because some of these tests have a lot of questions to answer about yourself. I was nervous because I didn’t know exactly what the results would say about me.
Despite the process, the end result was pretty cool. The results confirmed some things I pretty clearly knew about myself. The results told me things about myself that somewhere, deep within myself, I knew, but didn’t have words to describe. The results told me things about myself that I was surprised by, that I never would have said about myself. The results told me things that I didn’t want to be said about me. The results helped me understand myself better so that I could take bold, but scary steps into a future that I didn’t even know was possible.
These understandings, realizations, and awarenesses are what psychological assessment is all about. Sure, sometimes the purpose of an assessment is to determine whether a diagnosis is present or not – think about all the assessments that happen when a medical doctor is trying to determine whether someone has cancer or a chronic illness. But underneath it all, the true purpose is to understand a person better, whether that be physically as in the case of a medical doctor or emotionally as in the case of a psychologist.
At the end of a psychological assessment, a psychologist expects that the client will understand more about him/herself and have some ideas about what his/her next steps could be to address the good and the I-wish-it-was-better results that come from the assessment. This may or may not include a diagnosis but will definitely include information about how the client thinks, feels, copes, and engages in the world around him/her.
If you have questions about yourself or your child and/or desire to have clarity about what might be going on inside of your heart, mind, or soul, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or (312) 573-8860 to discuss these things and determine if a psychological assessment might be beneficial for you. You can also find out more about our psychological assessment services here.
The back-to-school season can be stressful for everyone involved. As parents, we want our children to have the best school year yet. Parents, here are three tips to keep in mind while supporting your children to prepare for the upcoming school year.
1. Remember that this is a time of mixed emotions.
Dread. Excitement. Worry. All these (and more) are experienced as the return to school draws near and each is a very real part of the back-to-school process. See if you can think back to your school days and what this season was like for you. Although this isn’t exactly what your child is experiencing (because everyone’s experience is unique), it can help parents remember that there is more to this time of year than our excitement that the kids are out of the house after all summer home. Check in with your child about his/her thoughts and feelings about going back to school and watch for clues that can give insight into his/her perspective about this time of year.
2. Create and follow a routine.
Transitions are difficult, and the transition into a new school year is no different. Transitions often trigger emotional distress; routines can help to decrease and manage the stress that may arise. Some important things to think about when working to develop a routine include sleep, healthy food, homework time, fun time, and relaxing time. Beginning the routine before the first day of school can help your child more slowly transition back into the school year rather than abruptly going from a fun summer to sitting in a classroom.
3. Prepare in advance.
Taking time to visit the school before the first day can decrease some of the stress of the first weeks of school. Help your student find his/her classroom(s) and work together to make sure he/she can confidently open that pesky locker. If your child is attending a new school building, figure out where the office, bathrooms, gym, and cafeteria are located. After purchasing all of the necessary school supplies, take time to organize the supplies and put your child’s backpack together so it is ready for the first day. Help your child decide what clothes he/she will wear and what he/she wants to eat for lunch. These aspects of preparation can happen well before the last days of summer and can help to decrease the stress of the quickly approaching first day of school. If your child has received special services at school in the past, reach out to school staff to ensure that all necessary supports are in place for the first day of school.
Although these strategies can be helpful for many students, each child and family is unique and you are the expert about your child/family. Thinking through what has helped your child during previous transitions and back-to-school seasons can help you generate more ideas of how to best support your child in the midst of this season.
Back to School Psychology 101: Tips for Parents. Retrieved from http://www.massgeneral.org/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=3716
Dealing with the back-to-school blues? Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/school-rush.aspx
Just like adults, children often struggle with anxiety too. They often worry about their grades, fitting in with their peers, or separating from parents. Although most children will worry, some kids experience excessive distress that causes severe impairment in their academic and social functioning. A study showed that 8% of teens between 13-18 years old reported having an anxiety disorder, with many of the symptoms appearing at the age of 6 (NIMH).
How do you know your child is struggling with anxiety? Here are some signs that may indicate that symptoms of anxiety:
1. Experiences excessive fear that is developmentally inappropriate
2. Has difficulty with transitions or coping with unexpected changes in their routine
3. Avoids or refuses to participate in particular activities
4. Experiences physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches
5. Cries, is irritable, or displays anger outbursts due to anxiety.
Sometimes it can be very frustrating to parent a child who feels anxious. However, there are helpful strategies that can ease the worry a child experiences. Here are some tips for parents and caregivers to consider if the child struggling with anxiety.
1. Label their feelings. Talk to your child about what anxiety is and the symptoms they may be experiencing. Parents should emphasize that anxiety is a normal feeling and that everyone experiences worry. Giving the anxiety a label or name will empower the child to challenge their fears.
2. Model how to cope with stressful situations. Parents are in the best position to show how to cope with anxiety. Try to demonstrate problem-solving strategies or positive self-talk when there opportunities arise.
3. Praise for small accomplishments. Children who worry often avoid things or situations that they are anxious of. Provide positive reinforcement when attempt to face their fears or take steps to challenge their worries.
4. Warning for transitions. If possible, give your child some warning of when transitions will be coming up. For example, preparing your child ready to start or end school can begin a few weeks prior to the transition. Give them opportunity to ask questions and express their worries.
5. Don’t punish your child for behaviors related to anxiety. Sometimes children may be irritable or oppositional. Often anxious children are not be trying to be purposefully disobedient but these behaviors are a result of avoiding things they fear and worry.
6. Seek professional help. If the anxiety becomes severe and interferes with your child’s functioning, it may be time to consider getting help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown to be an effective treatment to address anxiety.
Information from the National Institute of Mental Health (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders-in-children-and-adolescents/index.shtml) and “Practice Parameter for the Assessment and Treatment of Children and Adolescents with Anxiety Disorders.” 2007. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 46(2): 267-283.
Some days are good. Really good… Some days are bad. Really bad… The bad days have progressively become more frequent. The hope of good days is beginning to fade.
It was a long day after a long week. Come to think of it, it’s been a long year. My daughter and I curled up in bed watching a movie as we fell asleep. I heard the sound of Adrian’s key turn in lock. My eyes immediately popped open. The door swung open and slammed against the wall. At that moment, I knew Adrian had been drinking. “It’s a bad day,” I thought to myself. The dog jumped and my daughter gripped me in fear. I squeezed her hand in an attempt to comfort her and possibly to reassure myself.
I jumped out of bed in an attempt to sooth Adrian. Not sure what to expect, I carefully walked on eggshells so as to not set Adrian off into a rage of anger. Nevertheless, verbal daggers in the form of criticism and put-downs were quickly thrown toward me violently striking me in the heart. I frantically attempted to nurture and reason with Adrian. I desperately wanted to prevent the explosion I knew was coming. With one sweep of Adrian’s arm, my late grandfather’s heirloom shattered into a million pieces on the dinning room floor. I felt angry, sad, and scared. Adrian walked away with no regard for what he had done. I quickly and silently gathered some items and left with my daughter and the dog.
The next morning, I woke up to several texts messages and voice messages from Adrian pleading with me to come back, promising me that the drinking is over for good and making commitments to get help and seek counseling to gain control over the anger. I thought to myself, “Today will be a good day. Maybe Adrian will finally follow through. Maybe we can finally escape this horribly destructive pattern.” My second thought was, “Adrian has promised all of this before. What will make this time different? We have gone through this pattern countless times before.”
My final thoughts were, “I do not want this life for my daughter, for myself, nor for Adrian. This time, I will change the pattern. This time I will seek support for myself.”
- This story is fictional and created with the intent to illustrate an abusive relational pattern as to increase awareness, offer knowledge and provide support for those who may be engaging in an abusive relational pattern.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2015), “Domestic violence is prevalent in every community and affects all people regardless of age, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality. Physical violence is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior as part of a much larger, systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and even death. The devastating consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.”
Obtain further information at www.NCADV.org
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. – Psalm 34:18
If the above depicted relational pattern is one that you find to be familiar, please seek help. Your life is worth it.
Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Or, online go to www.Domesticshelters.org
DCADV. (2015). Domestic violence national statistics. Retrieved from www.ncadv.org
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright© 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation.