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Better Than Before


We all want another chance to get something right, or to be granted a do-over.  The one question that continues to be paramount is: How do we get through this time?  A time that appears to have no set end.  Every report, conference, appointment has been completely refocused to include the impact of COVID-19 on our society, bodies, business, finances, families, churches, communities, race, culture and emotions.  Most Americans have experienced heightened anxiety, low mood, loneliness and isolation.

When I first started learning therapy skills, I learned the power of reframing.  I took a workshop that was about interventions. We had to describe the picture we saw as the presenter placed a different frame over each picture.  I started thinking about this exercise a couple of days ago and thought, in order to make this better, we have to think about this time differently.  We need to REFRAME this.  How can we not only survive this, but thrive through this so that at the end we are better than before?  I struggled to this of this differently.  This is only a reset, so that we can rest, so that we can recommit.  Let me explain what I mean.

Reset – Reset can be viewed as a re-entry to the state of zero, or to start over, or to be given another chance.  To start afresh.  I thought, the year has already started, that was our reset.  We made commitments to ourselves, we started new schedules, started a new journal and thought through the old.  We said farewell to Auid Lang Syne (Scottish for days gone by).  We let go so that we can enter in.  We embraced what could be and set our hearts to engage in new possibilities with great anticipation.  Our goals were set, our schedules were set, we were engaged and then all of a sudden it all came to a halt.  In Using a different frame:  We have been given the gift to reset again.  What a treasure and what a wonderful opportunity.  In resetting, we can clear out the last three months and try one more time.  What was not there prior, we can now add.  We can start anew and embrace the beginning once again.

Lexapro is my first medication when I was depressed and had various anxiety disorders. it only helped a little but since I was undergoing intensive therapy it was not enough in my opinion. Check out more info about Lexapro medication.

Rest –  During this period of time we have also been given the gift of rest.  I think about this more in terms of respite.  Although we were only in the 3rd month of the year, some of us were deeply engaged in completing our goals and well-set to move through to the summer with great anticipation of warmth and beauty.  We were running hard and moving fast. All of a sudden it all stopped.  In Using a different frame:  I picture respite as a little slice of joy.  I see myself resting near a pond with my toes in the warm water, the warmth of the sun on my back and the sound of beautiful birds chirping in the background. I lean back to get the full warmth of the sun as I listen to the most beautiful sound that only God can create – Birds chirping, the warm wind blowing and the thought that I’m in the best place ever.  This is what the scripture means in Hebrew about entering into His rest — His rest.  Everything about respite was created by Him. Even this small slice of time in which we are resting, and becoming comfortable with what is so odd, with what we cannot control.  Take a deep breath and enter into His rest. Hebrew 4:10 – For whoever enters into His rest, he also ceases from his own works, as God did from His.

Recommitment – The commitment we made at the beginning of the year, a couple of months ago seem so far away.  In Using a different frame:  This is an opportunity for a recommitment to self.  One of the promises that we don’t want to break is a promise we made to the self.  The promise of want to do better, be better and live better.  Some of us had already picked up bad habits.  We had fallen back into the late arrivals, the bad eating, the loss of sleep, the loss of connection with others.  In the 3rd month, this started to look like the old schedule we wanted nothing to do with.  This period of time gives us the opportunity to recommit to self.  To do what we said.  It also gives us the opportunity to recommit to family.  What a wonderful word.  It is always and has been complex but yet deep.  It has been layered, but yet beautiful.  Family is this amazing group of people that we all have been gifted with who teach us so much.  Family teaches us about how deeply we can love, and how often we can forgive.  This is a recommitment to our faith, as well.  The very essence of who we are and why we are.  It is a reassurance of what we stand for and who we are.

Yes, we will get through this.  What appears to be suffering, fear and sadness, we will get through it.  We will come out of this and we will be better than before as we use this time to reset, rest and recommit!

5 Mental Health Tips for Coping with the Coronavirus


1) Remember emotions are not good or bad. Each emotion serves a purpose to alert us to something important. Anxiety, in particular, can be helpful to help us “prepare” for a situation or perform during a stressful task. Ask yourself and label what emotion(s) you might be feeling. Labeling emotions in and of itself can be regulating to distress.

Siegel, D.J. & Bryson, T. D. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. Bantam Books.

2) If your emotions are doing more harm than good try Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s (DBT) skill – taking opposite action. Find actions that might feel the “opposite” to the overwhelming emotion you might be feeling. For example, if you are feeling down or depressed, maybe that means you engage in things that might make you laugh, smile, or feel happy. That could mean listening to music that makes you feel this way, watching a comedian on Netflix/Youtube, or looking at old photos that make you smile. 

Linehan, M. M. (1993). Skills training manual for treating Borderline Personality Disorder. The Guildford Press.

3) Schedule “worry/anxiety/panic” time. This Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) skill suggests you schedule 30 minutes daily let yourself worry, maybe read news, or talk to others about it etc., just letting these emotions and thoughts be. Then limit your exposure to things that might increase anxiety/panic (i.e news, social media etc.) other times of the day. By scheduling time to worry, you can help yourself refocus the rest of the day to carry on with what you might need to do, knowing you have your “worry time” set aside for later. 

McGowan, S., & Behar, E. (2012). A preliminary investigation of stimulus control training for worry: Effects on anxiety and insomnia. Behavior Modification, 7(1), pp. 90-112.

4) This Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) skill, suggests you decide how you would like to live out your valuesin this situation. By focusing on your values, you can align what is important to you with your actions, creating meaning and purpose (in spite of a sense of chaos). For example, maybe you value social justice, so you can focus on addressing the Xenophobia that has been present in the news/social media. Maybe you value knowledge, so you focus on obtaining the best evidenced-based research and facts, or maybe you value your religious faith, so you focus on religious scripture and/or rituals.

Harris, R. (2009). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5) Self-care. Engage in activities that will reduce stress (exercise, yoga, meditation, hot shower/bath), etc.) daily. You can Youtube yoga classes (if wanting low-cost free or to avoid people 😉 ) or try some meditation/mindfulness apps:

Meditation/Mindfulness Apps:

Insight Timer

Over 30,000 free guided meditations, imagery, and mindfulness. Covers topics of sleep, anxiety, stress, etc. Faith-based guided meditation included. Option for payment for additional features.

Headspace 

First 2 weeks free. Guided simplified meditation app. Subscription covers guided meditation and mindfulness exercises that are great for busy schedules.

Liberate

Free meditation app made by and for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. Includes topics on gratitude, body, micro aggressions, sleep, race, etc.

Breathe2Relax 

Free made by the defense health agency. Practice and learn diaphragmatic breathing. Can pair with Apple Watch and Health Kit to measure heart rate.

Calm

Free 7 day trial app with mediation, breathing exercises, and music and video scenery for relaxation and stress relief. Also includes sleep stories, with new stories added every week.

Relax Melodies: Sleep Sounds

Free download includes sleep background noises. 7 day free trial includes guided meditations, stories, and guided gentle movements.

Cornerstone Counseling Center of Chicago