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Come As You Are: Examining Our Own Narratives Around Food, Health, and Body Image


Common assumptions around eating disorders often narrowly focus on an individual’s food intake and exercise. It’s time to examine how cultural norms directly impact all of us. A leading factor in the development of disordered eating is a cultural emphasis on being thin (Culbert, Racine, & Klump, 2015). When thinness is celebrated and equated with health, anyone outside of thinness is subjected to weight stigma and bias. One’s “discipline” and even morality is questioned. Weight stigma is a subsequent threat in and of itself as a risk factor for depression and anxiety (Andreyeva, Puhl, & Brownell, 2008). Rather than investing our time, money, and energy into a narrow and often impossible standard, what if our focus is to work against weight stigma and the idealization of thinness? 

This work begins with ourselves, in identifying the ways we have internalized messages of shame for our bodies, or perhaps in how we have pursued and been devoted to this standard of thinness. For parents and caregivers there is a compelling obligation to consider one’s own beliefs and actions around health, wellness, and eating patterns for the sake of their children. All children are currently composing their own narrative of what it means to “be healthy” and are modeling behaviors from those around them, for better or for worse. (Andreyeva, Puhl, & Brownell, 2008). 

This work is individual and collective. National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is from February 24th-March 1st. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) theme for this year is “Come As You Are, Hindsight is 2020.” Let us take time, be it in conversations, prayer, or in counseling to reflect about our own narratives around food, health, and body image. Let us work toward a culture in our families and communities that speaks to each and every one: “Come as you are.”

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Andreyeva, T., Puhl, R. M. and Brownell, K. D. (2008), Changes in Perceived Weight Discrimination Among Americans, 1995–1996 Through 2004–2006. Obesity, 16: 1129–1134. doi:10.1038/oby.2008.35

Culbert, K. M., Racine, S. E., & Klump, K. L. (2015). Research Review: What we have learned about the causes of eating disorders – a synthesis of sociocultural, psychological, and biological research. J Child Psychol Psychiatry, 56(11), 1141-1164. 

Making A Plan For A Happy Holiday


Think About It

  1. What is one thing that you’ve experienced on a past holiday that you do not want to repeat this year?
  • Drinking too much / using drugs
  • Spending the holiday alone at home and feeling lonely
  • Conflict with family or friends
  • Feeling guilty or sad that I had nothing to give
  • Feeling depressed 
  • Wanting to hurt myself or someone else

Future Brighter Holidays

2. Can you avoid what you checked this holiday and commit not to do it?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Maybe

Check one box under each category that you would like to do this holiday:

Physical

  • Eat healthy foods (substitute fruit for sweets or vegetables for chips!)
  • Get exercise (bundle up and go for a walk)
  • Drink plenty of water (limit alcohol and caffeine)
  • Get enough sleep (7-9 hours each night)
  • Practice good hygiene (get out of your pajamas and put on something nice!)

Mental

  • Make a plan: Take action and decide fun ways to spend your Holiday Season with others. 
  • Don’t fake it: embrace both good and bad feelings.
  • Create a tradition for yourself: light a candle, talk with a friend, say a prayer, sing a favorite song.
  • Tell yourself that it doesn’t have to be the “best time of the year.”

Social

  • Plan your holidays ahead of time (where will you go for the meal?)
  • Plane to be with people you enjoy.
  • Talk about your feelings. Cry, laugh. Do not try to hide your honest emotions.
  • However, if you find yourself getting angry, take 3 deep breaths and remove yourself from the situation.
  • Put some effort into seeing that someone else has a wonderful holiday. Serve at shelter. Ask if you can help set up for a dinner. Find satisfaction in doing for others.

3. Now circle just one of the things you checked above that you will commit to doing this holiday. 

I _________________________________ (your name) commit to thriving and living with less stress this Holiday Season. 

Date: ____________________________

Can you mark yes to question #1 now?

If you want to discuss this further feel free to contact Cornerstone Counseling Center of Chicago (312) 573-8860 or cccoc@chicagocounseling.org

*Please note if at any time you feel overwhelmed or that you may hurt yourself, please call the Northwestern Crisis Hotline at: (312) 926-8100 or 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Room. 

Strategies to Reduce Depression During the Holiday


For your physical health:

Be deliberate about what activities you choose to attend. Decide ahead of time what would benefit you the most and what is in line with your needs.

Ask for help from others. We tend to think we have to do everything, when a team effort can be more fun.

Make time to rest and rejuvenate even amidst the pressure of getting things done. This will give you more energy.

Pay attention to your eating and drinking.

 

For your emotional health:

Express your feelings in an assertive and respectful way. Say “yes” because you want to, not out of obligation or to please others.

Surrender to those things that we cannot change. Surrendering is accepting things that we cannot control which allow us not to struggle and feel more at ease.

Don’t isolate. Reach out to others if you feel lonely. If you don’t have someone to be with, volunteer to help those in need. It can be very uplifting and gratifying. Spend time with supportive people.

Spend time to reflect and grieve, if necessary. Let yourself feel. Then do something nice for yourself and socialize.

Practice mindfulness. Try to observe your internal experience, just as it is, without judgment.

 

For your spiritual health: 

Don’t compare yourself to others. You are perfect just as you are today.

Extend forgiveness.

Let go of the past. Life brings changes and each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Look forward.

Each week, call or email a family member or friend that you have not connected with in some time.

Make a new friend and invite them for coffee.

Find time to be with God. Pray!

Self-Care Tips to Get You Through the Holidays


While the holiday season can be a time of connection and cheer for many, for others it can bring about additional stress and isolation. During the season of giving we often devote so much time to others that we forget to take care of ourselves. Reclaiming and incorporating time for yourself is an essential part of maintaining a healthy and balanced holiday season. Below are a few ways in which you can give to yourself this season:

  • Reflect: Throughout the year reflection is a key aspect of self-care, but moving it to the forefront is especially important during the holidays. Reflection can bring about renewal and change as you enter the new year, and for some can even bring closure. Meditation and journaling are ways in which you can reflect on what it most important during these times. Both provide emotional and physical benefits that aid in the mitigation of undesirable symptoms.
  • Rest: Another important aspect of everyday life, that is especially important during this busy time, is rest. By maintaining a routine, you allow yourself to remain recharged and refreshed during this season of rush.
  • Prioritize: In an effort to match the pace of the season, many people often find themselves playing catch up once the holidays have ended. Allow yourself time to create and stick to realistic goals, which can include scheduling and budgeting. This eliminates the burden of overspending and overexerting yourself.
  • Create: Instead of focusing on the hustle of the season, take advantage of the magic of the season by creating traditions that will last for many seasons to come.
  • Redefine: Many assume that giving requires spending. During the coming days, take time to reflect on the meaning of the holidays by redefining what it means to give. Giving your time to be in service of others is an easy and inexpensive way to lift spirits.

In keeping with the holiday season, it is important to remember that self-care is key to achieving greater health, happiness, and prosperity. As stated by Calving Coolidge, “Holidays are not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of the Holidays.”

Why psychological assessment? What good will it do? How will I benefit?


When in graduate school for a degree in psychology or counseling, one learns a lot and reads a ton. But the most important thing grad students in my field do is practice what they preach.

So, when I was in a masters program in grad school, I took a psychological assessment overview course and the final assignment was to take a whole handful of tests that assessed my personality and then score, interpret, and report the results of these tests.

It was quite a process because some of these tests have a lot of questions to answer about yourself. I was nervous because I didn’t know exactly what the results would say about me.

Despite the process, the end result was pretty cool. The results confirmed some things I pretty clearly knew about myself. The results told me things about myself that somewhere, deep within myself, I knew, but didn’t have words to describe. The results told me things about myself that I was surprised by, that I never would have said about myself. The results told me things that I didn’t want to be said about me. The results helped me understand myself better so that I could take bold, but scary steps into a future that I didn’t even know was possible.

These understandings, realizations, and awarenesses are what psychological assessment is all about. Sure, sometimes the purpose of an assessment is to determine whether a diagnosis is present or not – think about all the assessments that happen when a medical doctor is trying to determine whether someone has cancer or a chronic illness. But underneath it all, the true purpose is to understand a person better, whether that be physically as in the case of a medical doctor or emotionally as in the case of a psychologist.

At the end of a psychological assessment, a psychologist expects that the client will understand more about him/herself and have some ideas about what his/her next steps could be to address the good and the I-wish-it-was-better results that come from the assessment. This may or may not include a diagnosis but will definitely include information about how the client thinks, feels, copes, and engages in the world around him/her.

If you have questions about yourself or your child and/or desire to have clarity about what might be going on inside of your heart, mind, or soul, please contact us at cccoc@chicagocounseling.org or (312) 573-8860 to discuss these things and determine if a psychological assessment might be beneficial for you. You can also find out more about our psychological assessment services here.

How to Combat Anxiety and Depression

by Tiffany Solecki, BA Clinical Intern in Active, Anxiety, Depression, Healing, Self Improvement Comments: 0 tags: anxiety, depression, Self Improvement

Challenging Anxiety and Depression: A Few Tips

As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression, both experiences can be incredibly tiring and alienating. While they may at first glance seem like opposing conditions, I’ve learned from experience that anxiety and depression are actually more like “cousins.” Both tend to involve negative self-talk with anxiety being a state of insecurity and fear in response and depression being the result of paralyzation by belief. Thoughts such as “I’m unintelligent,” “I’m unattractive,” or “I’m unlovable” come to mind when I think about my own internal dialogue on particularly rough days.

While I recognize that the experiences of others may not mirror mine, I wanted to offer a few practical tips on how to challenge such negative feelings and thoughts.

  1. Avoiding Projection

Let’s say you’re attending a social event for work and had a lot on your mind so you weren’t as outgoing as you wanted to be. You may self-deprecate, telling yourself something like, “I wish I could have let go and had a good time. Everyone probably thought I was socially awkward.”

The projecting lies in the last two thoughts, in which you assumed that others agreed with you in your own negative self-assessment.

Imagine if someone else, such as a friend or family member, was in your place. If they had been quieter than usual one day, would you have automatically assumed that they were rude or socially awkward? I wouldn’t have.

Given that you likely would not respond so negatively to others in similar situations, ask yourself this: Why then, should you respond to yourself that way?

  1. Do something for yourself each day.

Self-care is crucial in challenging negative thoughts, so it’s a good idea to find something you enjoy doing or a task that you are determined to complete each day. This can be something as simple as doing laundry to as specific as making progress on a project or task you’ve had on your mind. Regardless as to what you choose to do, make sure it is something that is important to you, and try not to set overly high expectations for your completion of it. Since negative thought patterns often stem from the belief that we are incapable or lacking in some way, doing something small for yourself each day can serve as a reminder to the contrary.

  1. Connect with God.

If you’re like me, you probably cringe at the cliché response that if you “prayed or trusted in God more,” you wouldn’t be feeling anxious or depressed. Let me challenge this with Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

While many of us may feel as though God has abandoned us in our struggles with mental health, we can rest assured that such an assumption is contrary to Scripture. While worrying and thinking negatively are often tied to a lack of trust in God, its important for us to understand that God loves and cares for us in our suffering, whatever form it may take, and is not waiting for us to call on Him so he can point out our flaws with bitterness or contempt. Rather, as His children, He welcomes us into His presence with outstretched arms. He desperately wants to connect with us our rawness and vulnerability.

If you are struggling with depression and/or anxiety and want to request an appointment to see a therapist, click here.

Cornerstone Counseling Center of Chicago